A few home truths

Lately, it feels like I’ve developed some sort of horrible social disease that’s turned me into a social pariah. It feels like there’s a big party happening and I’m the only one who’s not been invited. I don’t normally feel like that but of late, I’ve noticed my thoughts drifting more and more in that direction. 

A couple of weeks ago, I attended my first non-food blogging conference and while the conference wasn’t quite what I expected, there were two presentations, given by Sharon Devellis and Elan Morgan, that hit home with me. While some of these may seem pretty self-evident, clearly I needed to be in that room, at that time, on that day, to get those messages.

Message received.

Truth #1 - I am not a famous blogger

Insert any name you’d like but I’ll never be them, cause I am me. I am my own individual with different skills, outlook and creativity so my experiences and outcomes will be different. I need to stop comparing my success to others and start comparing myself against where I’ve been, what I’ve done and how much I’ve achieved since I started blogging 1.5 years ago. 

I’ve been on a transformational journey for the last couple of years and I found my way to this path recently. I can’t expect to go to bed one night and morph into Sunny Andersen by morning. I can try as hard as I can but I’ll never be Sunny, I’ll only ever be Rhonda and that’s A-OK.

Truth #2 - Quit focusing on what everyone else is doing.

In her presentation, Sharon told us that Twitter and Facebook are evil, and I’m adding Instagram to that pile.  I’ve seen people tweeting or instagramming from the #FunnestEventEver and I may have been bitter because I really wanted to have been invited to that party. 

My reality is that that my job is very demanding, and I often work late. If you see me tweeting, or instagramming during the day I’m either off, on the train, in a cab on my way to a meeting, or in the bathroom (where I sometimes go to get a bit of a break). So I can’t be at every #FunnestEventEver so I’m going to be happy for my fellow bloggers when they go, and make the most of any opportunities that are presented to me. 

Truth #3 - Quit thinking that what I do is special

I am a blogger.  I’m one of a couple hundred thousand people in North America who blog.  I have an opinion about food, cooking, life everything and I write it down and other people read it. Does this make me special? According to Sharon, it doesn’t make me special. 

WTH? Who is this woman and why am I not special? After I finished being offended, I listened and got that what I do isn’t special; it’s how I do it.  I need to focus on honing my voice, putting my stamp on my stories so that you can “hear me” in them.

Truth #4 - My success might not look like anything that I think it should

When I first started blogging and I spent a lot of time analyzing how others achieved their success, and I tried to figure out how I could replicate that. I learned that my idea of success will probably not be my reality of success; it’ll probably be better than anything I can ever imagine. Elan was right, I’m in the middle of my story and the beauty of that is that means there’s still time to write how my story ends.

Truth #5 - Quit thinking it’s going be easy

I am very successful in my professional life. I’m confident, in charge and command respect for the work that I do. My opinion matters, but it’s taken almost 20 years to build up that expertise. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy to develop a new area of expertise, it’s unsettling, at times scary and I find that I have to consciously will myself out of my comfort zone.  According to the presenter Sharon, doing something that scares you is empowering and helps you become mentally tougher and that toughness is ultimately what helps you to succeed.

Last Friday was a tough day at work, made even tougher by the tweets from people at the #FunnestEventEver. I got home poured myself a glass of wine, pulled out my vision board and started refining my path to the success that I know I’m eventually going to claim as my own.


Copyright © 2013, Olive & Ruby. All rights reserved.


Christina's picture

Sing it sister!! I often think that Facebook and Twitter are terrible for self-esteem and we are mature enough to know better than to read too much into it.

Rhonda's picture

how self-confident we are that little green monster raises it's head up from time to time :)

Bhupinder's picture

Wow! So many truths! Great blog post! Social Media is an interesting monster! Perception is key! Just do you the best way you know how! And limit the "noise" as much as possible!


Robyn's picture

Rhonda, I love this post! I, too, am filled with envy when I see all our friends tweeting and attending #funnesteventsever. Truth is, I have a 9-5 that I love and it's not possible for me to attend events during the day (not that I'm invited!) so I just need to get over it! The other piece of advice I love is that at the end of the day, you have to just write your blog for you. Don't worry about how many people are reading or what your stats are - just do it for you! Looking forward to chatting about this in person next weekend!

Rhonda's picture

next weekend also. I know that you feel my pain. I absolutely agree with your advice to write my blog just for me. God knows I'm not gonna get rich off the advertising revenue that it brings in LOL!

Alex 's picture

Excellent post. Be who you are, and enjoy it without being too self important...That's what I get from it. I enjoy my small pond and ultimately we need to write for ourselves. It is great that others enjoy it too, on occasion.

Rhonda's picture

I write for myself and my enjoyment and I can only hope that others read it and learn something from it. 

Claire's picture

Your journey, your destination, your story to write. Your vision to dream big! Your inspired actions coming from a place of authenticity. Your Informed choices, based on what is truly important to you, in all the areas under your span of control. Your ruthless laser focus on what's important . Add in a little bit of luck, and the universe will deliver. You, I believe in. You own this. You go girl :)

Allison (Spontaneous Tomato)'s picture

This is so true! Every time I compare myself to other bigger bloggers on Facebook or Pinterest or whatever, I just get discouraged, depressed, and kind of blocked for creating material for my own blog. But things are better when I think about how at least I am creating something I can be proud of, even if it's more of a slow but steady accumulation of readers than anything going viral. I also have a full-time life outside of blogging, so I can't be too hard on myself, and must define "success" in my own way, and remind myself that the real reason I'm doing this is (/should be) because I enjoy it!

Rhonda's picture

We are need to be reminded why we got into this every once in a while.

Thanks for stopping by.


Carol Harrison's picture

Hey Rhonda,

I met you for the first time at FBC2013 and instantly adored you - you, not your blog cause I had never seen it at that point. We ate breakfast together, do you remember?

My point is what's great about this community is the people we connected with - genuine and generous folks like you.
Everyone defines success a little differently and I know I could also do with a closer look inside to think more carefully about that - something to think about on the plane to FBC2014! Looking forward to seeing you there!

Shareba @ In Search Of Yummy-ness's picture

It's so tough to hear that stuff, but it's so true. Can't wait to see you tomorrow!

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